Yes, this may fall under the category of “somewhat crass band shirt” — and that’s not the sort of shit I like to run — but the fact that this tee has been drawn by none other than Kozyndan totally makes up for that.

Besides, this design reminds me of a couple desert tortoises we inherited from my grandparents when I was a kid. Every Spring, they’d come out of hibernation and do their best to keep our patch crab grass from getting too out of control. To be honest, they didn’t do a very good job — and they mostly terrified our dogs — but they were pretty cool pets.

Well, at least when Mr. Turtle wasn’t trying to bone down on the missus. And trust me, that horny bastard would try to go at it at least a few times a week. Even if I had to rinse tortoise jizz off of the porch more time than I want to admit, it was pretty hilarious to watch the whole ritual take place.

So yeah, two sluggish shelled lizards getting their freak on. Not really the way I wanted to start the new year, but I had to go with something…

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