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It may not seem like it most of the year, but at least once every year we Americans believe American to be the greatest country in the universe. And even some of the lesser multiverses. The many different cultures have come together to create a wide tapestry of freedom that we call home. Pop open a Bud, let your pet eagle out to play, cook up some hot dogs and hamburgers and turn on the game, ’cause we’ve got a whole day to remember how great our plot of earth is and shout it to everyone across the globe. Wrap this cloth around your torso and forget all the shitty things we’ve done because AMERICA!

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