If smoke break is the new recess, my coworkers get about eight to ten recesses a day… Between that and the watching episodes of Family Guy and South Park all day while working, I’m surprised anything gets done. But actually, a lot of shit does get done. So maybe I shouldn’t complain.

Hell, I might even want to consider taking up smoking if it’ll make me as productive as those guys. I mean, not only do they watch videos while they work β€” my coworkers also seem to have the time to tinker with their remote controlled toys and play foosball on top of the incessant smoke breaks that they take. I wonder what brand I have to smoke in order to do that.

Okay, I won’t actually go that far. Smoking is a dirty fucking habit. But I’m not the type to judge β€” so however you want to kill yourself is your business. If anyone cares, I prefer to kill myself by way of strong drink. Preferably a good Irish whiskey or beer. The way I see it, extra livers are way easier to come by than spare lungs…

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