Yearly Archives: 2011

23 posts published on Preshrunk in 2011, newest first.

Marioflage

Posted by Gregg on December 29, 2011

Now that the holidays are (for the most part) blissfully over, ‘tis the season to treat myself to a piece of urban flair. After all, I’ve braved the storm. I’ve wrapped up family time without having a National Lampoon meltdown.

And what better way to reward myself for the sanity-bending time with the fam’ than to Deck the Abs with some boughs of badass. Mario’s back. But let’s be real, he never really left. Join me in my new tradition – MeMas. It’s kind of like XMas, but it’s for you. Treat yourself, sweetheart. You’ve earned it.

But look alive, kids. This bad boy’s priced to move. It’s on sale right now, but who knows how much longer that’s going to be. So I say in the spirit of MeMas – this is gonna look bitchin.

Update: They are selling out of this one fast! Only small sizes left. I'll have to look for another MeMas gift. :'(

$30-$35 | URL Mens| Paypal Credit | M: XS - S

When Pigs Fly

Posted by Gregg on December 22, 2011

I remember when my granddad used to offer me a twenty-dollar bill. When I went to grab it, he’d yank it out of reach like that succubus from Peanuts and cry “When pigs fly!” Well, screw you old man. I’ve got my own twenty dollars now, and I spent it to toss in the face of you and your flighted-porcine doubting crowd.

It’s called heavier-than-air flight, gramps. It was probably called “witchcraft” when you were coming up, but now we just call it science.

Next time I see my granddad, I’m going to show him my shirt. And take my twenty dollars.

$32.00 | URL Mens | Paypal, Credit | M: S - XXL

Posted in T-Shirts, Funny T-shirts, Novelty T-shirts, Pop Culture T-shirts, Quirky T-shirts, Animal T-shirts, Artistic T-shirts, Comic T-shirts

Dance Your Ass Off

Posted by Gregg on December 15, 2011

When Kevin Bacon was taking guff from this shitkicker, did he sit there and just take it? No. Not only did he completely destroy him in tractor chicken, he did exactly what a townie’s t-shirt told him. He danced his ass off.

My recommendation? Be like the bacon. Don’t take no guff. And let everyone know what you think. And if that doesn’t work? Start a poor man’s Oasis with your brother. I was going to include a Bacon Brothers clip here, but thought better of it. You’re all welcome.

$20.95 | URL Womens | Paypal, Credit | F: S - XL

Posted in T-Shirts, Funny T-shirts, Movie T-shirts, Novelty T-shirts, Offensive T-shirts, Pop Culture T-shirts, Quirky T-shirts, Comic T-shirts

Gorilla Cop

Posted by Gregg on December 8, 2011

People may not always like dealing with the police – but you can bet things would be pretty tense if you had this silverback knocking his baton on your door. Let’s celebrate freedom from our simian brothers with this cool, and kind of frightening, shirt from fiftyseven-thirtythree.

Although if there were some sort of Island of Dr. Moreau for civil servants, it might be nice for them to make DMV gorillas or meter maid gorillas. The whole poo-flinging thing may actually be an attitude improvement for them.

$30 | URL | Paypal, Credit | M: S - XXL

Posted in Design Categories, T-Shirts, Funny T-shirts, Political T-shirts, Pop Culture T-shirts, Animal T-shirts, Artistic T-shirts, Comic T-shirts

Home Geeves

Posted by Gregg on December 1, 2011

Home Geeves When E.T. phoned home the first time, he had to make do with a busted milk crate and a ten-speed. But the next time he needs a ride, he can just phone Dial-A-Butler and catch a ride on a sassy old-style big wheel. In round two, he's going to get serious about the image he projects on the moon.

Because this time around, E.T.’s not going out like some punk. He’s going out in style. He’s going to let all those G-men on his case know which end is up. That’s right, coppers – straight from E.T. to you.

$24 | URL | Paypal, Credit | M: S - 3XL

Posted in Design Categories, Funny T-shirts, Movie T-shirts, Pop Culture T-shirts, vintage / Retro T-shirts, Comic T-shirts

Bowling is for Lovers

Posted by Gregg on November 23, 2011

I’m pretty into bowling. It’s one of the only sports you can play between bites of chicken wings – which means it should be in the Olympics. But until the International Olympic Committee hears the call of the people, I’ll lobby for the game of kings with the Bowling is for Lovers shirt from No Star.

That’s right, ladies. I’m a lover and a bowler. I’m a ten-pin two-stepper, and I don’t care who knows it. And for my bold brothers and sisters who aren’t afraid to let their shammy flag fly, wear your colors with pride. We’re bowlers. And we get it.

Oh, and for the true-blues, you’re welcome.

$24 | URL | Paypal, Credit | M: S - L

Posted in Design Categories, Funny T-shirts, Sports T-shirt, Comic T-shirts

The Raven

Posted by Gregg on November 17, 2011

I want to take you to Baltimore, Maryland, 1849. No, not literally – we don’t have time to get it to 88.

We’re going to visit Mr. Edgar Allan Poe, when he was meeting his tragic (and totally metal) end. In death as in life, Poe was pretty much the O.G. of black-wearing badasses everywhere. So next time you’re debating on which t-shirt best expresses the torment of your inner soul, honor the man who started it all. Choose the Raven.

I’ll see you later. I’m going to go pour out some old-timey 1800’s moonshine for the man who paved the way for my ill-advised goth phase in high school.

$39 | URL | Paypal | M: S - XL

Posted in Design Categories, Animal T-shirts, Artistic T-shirts

I ♥ Unicorns

Posted by Gregg on May 25, 2011

What’s not to love about unicorns? Seriously? Their horns can cure cancer, they poop rainbows, and they make a tasty spam ‘n eggs.

And they’re probably the most airbrushable of all mythical creatures. Sorry dragons. And Dale Earnhardt.

You may not believe in unicorns. That’s fine. It just means you don’t have a pure heart. Sidebar, seriously read the unicorn-watching tips. That guy knows what he’s talking about.

Plus, Robocop rode one.

$19.50 | Mens Womens | Paypal, Credit | M: S - XL, F: S - L

Posted in Design Categories, vintage / Retro T-shirts, Animal T-shirts

Thank You

Posted by Gregg on May 18, 2011

Sun Tzu knew that the subtlety of battle was a delicate dance. You have to draw your enemy close to do damage, but if they sense danger from afar, the jig is up. That’s the beauty of the Eff You t-shirt. It lures people in with a thank you, and then

BAM!

Clocked straight upside the head with an old school eff bomb.

Alright, I know what you’re thinking – there’s no way I can wear this shirt around my family. Valid concern. I suggest moving in a serpentine fashion to throw them off your tail. That’s also one from Sun Tzu. Matter of fact, I’m pretty sure he would have been one of the Eff You tee’s early adopters. You bet your buns if they had American Apparel preshrunk shirts in 5^th century B.C., Tzu would have been rocking that. Daily.

$16.99 | URL | Paypal, Credit | M: XS - XXL

Posted in Design Categories, Offensive T-shirts

T Party

Posted by Gregg on May 11, 2011

What do a Nobel laureate, B.A. Baracus, the Shat, and an O.G. have in common? I’ll bet my chain-wearing, alien-fighting, pale-rapping, poem-writing ass they’re here for the T Party. They’re T.S. Eliot, Mr. T., T.J. Hooker, and Ice-T.

Three out of the four are total badboyZ (it takes a man to cover Elton). But you’re probably asking yourself – why T.S. Eliot? Well, in addition to living abroad before it was "the cool thing to do," I have a theory that T.S. stands for Tough as Shit. Theory goes it was a nickname Hemingway gave him. And that dude ate bullets for breakfast.

And if you don’t know who T.J. Hooker is, ask your dad.

$32 | Mens Womens | Paypal, Credit | M: S - XXL, F: S - XL

Posted in Design Categories, Quirky T-shirts, Celebrity T-shirts

Yearly Archives: 2011

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