Yearly Archives: 2011

23 posts published on Preshrunk in 2011, newest first.

Winning

Posted by Gregg on April 27, 2011

Toward the end of February, some actor was making a lot of bad decisions. Just days later, the first email hit my inbox:

Screen shot 2011-04-27 at 7.17.38 PM
(Since Sam was "first" here's that link, in case you, a devoted Preshrunk reader, find this shirt to your liking.)

Within a couple days after that, my inbox began to resemble this Google image search:

Screen shot 2011-04-27 at 7.24.38 PM

Suffice it to say, I crawled into a hole for as long as I could, waiting for the Sheen-pocalpyse to end. Only after the zombie hoards groaning "WINNING" had faded into the distance and I could no longer hear the splattering of tiger blood rain outside my bi-bomb shelter did I decide it was safe to venture out once more.

So here I am, ready to review some shirts again. If you have an awesome (non-Charlie) t-shirt for me to look at, hit me up.

Posted in T-Shirts

No. The Facts

Posted by Gregg on March 30, 2011

These days, most of us are sensitive to environmental issues. I know I am. I’m not saying I bike to work or anything like that, but I try to recycle, I’ve been known to let it mellow when it’s yellow, and every once in a while I think, for just a second, about going Full Begley.

The problem with my environmentalism is that it lacks the in-your-face punch of badass anti-whalers. I can walk the walk, but I don’t really talk the talk.

So I don’t want to be confrontational, but I’m also kind of afraid of making the old native-american man cry. I’ve found the solution, my friends. Broadcast your hatred of water bottles with No. The Facts. Throw it on, and people know where you stand. Except not in a confrontational way. Because sometimes that’s just not cool.

$18 | URL | Paypal, Credit | M: L - XL

Posted in Design Categories, Political T-shirts

Hipster Scum

Posted by Gregg on March 25, 2011

Hipsters are like the Judas of cultural subgroups. They’ll deny their hipsterdom until they’re blue in the face. They swear on the life of their record player that they’re genuine, and everyone else is the hipster jagoff.

Well, Mr. Ironic Mustache Tattoo, you can run – but you can’t hide. The Hipster Scum shirt lets you call out your friends every time they make statements like “You can’t call yourself a fan until you’ve listened to their whole discography.” or “The Beatles were way overrated.” Because come on, man. It’s The Beatles.

Yes, move over “I’m with stupid.” This is the internet age. Nobody cares about being stupid anymore. These days, it’s “I’m with Arrogant.”

$19 | URL | Google Checkout | M: SX - L

Posted in Design Categories, Occupation T-shirts, Quirky T-shirts, vintage / Retro T-shirts

Mr. T

Posted by Gregg on March 9, 2011

Oh. My. Word.

Sometimes a shirt comes along that is just so perfect that the more you write, the more you obscure its beauty. Like trying to describe a perfect picnic or a you-had-to-be-there joke.

Now is one of those times.

Do not wait. Do not pass go. Put on your best sneer, partial mohawk, and 40 pounds of gold jewelry.

Pity the fool.

$20 | URL | Paypal, Credit | M: S - 2XL

Posted in Design Categories, Superhero T-shirts, TV T-shirts, Celebrity T-shirts

Numbers

Posted by Gregg on February 28, 2011

I’ve got a passion for history, but I’m pretty bad with dates. This. Shirt. Is. Perfect. It’s like the longest mnemonic device I’ve ever seen, and if I could memorize it, I’d feel like one of those robot-people that know pi to the thousandth digit.

As an apology for taking you to a video of pi to a thousand digits, (sidebar, a video that had nearly a thousand views) I give you one confused puppy. Thanks for the palate cleanser, Internet.

So, if you’re interested in looking snazzy while spouting important dates like the signing of the Magna Carta (not the soothing english folk group) or the release date of Zeppelin 1, look no further. Now all you have to do is carry around an index card with a list of what they mean.

$21 | URL | Paypal, Credit | M: XS - L

Posted in Design Categories, Holiday T-shirts, Quirky T-shirts

Hipster Shark & Cloud Vomit - Threadless Thursday

Posted by Gregg on February 24, 2011

It's Threadless Thursday! On Thursdays when I remember, I highlight a design in voting that could use some love. Last week I skipped it, because I didn't like any of the designs.* This week, I like two!

Hipster Shark only has 18 votes. :( While I'm sure he doesn't need anyone to validate his coolness, let's see if we can make this particular hipster the popular kid! Go vote on Hipster Shark!

*If you've ever thought to yourself that it'd be a good idea to subscribe to Threadless' Design Submission RSS feed so you see all the cool new designs, THINK AGAIN.

Threadless gets about a gazillion submissions a day and they aren't all unicorns and rainbows.

Thankfully, Cloud Vomit rose to the top of the pile pretty quick. If you like it, too, then go vote! :)

Posted in Threadless Thursday

End All War

Posted by Gregg on February 23, 2011

I pose a question: is nudity the answer to world peace? Before you accuse me of being some sort of sexual deviant, let’s explore it a bit more. I think there’s a powerful thought there.

For starters, it would just make fighting more difficult. Armies stopped using armored 'packages' to strike fear in the hearts of our enemies centuries ago, but the more advanced we get, the more soldiers look like characters from Halo. It’s easy to be brave when you’re covered head-to-toe in Infinity Armor and look like Dr. Doom without a cape, but let’s see how tough you are with the boys hanging in the breeze.

Another benefit is that it’s just difficult to take someone seriously when they’re nude. Naked people look ridiculous. Like grown babies. Try being seriously mad at someone when they’re naked. Go ahead. Strip down and start yelling.

Whether or not getting naked will help solve world strife, only time will tell. But let’s be real, is it any crazier than war? Not in my mind. Next time conflict is staring you in the face, hang some brain or let the girls fly loose. For peace. And, if you’re afraid of being picked up by the cops (although you could make an argument for civil disobedience), support peace by showing that you’re not afraid to mix nudity and war.

Peace awaits, friends. Let’s get naked.

$29.99 | URL | Credit | M: M - XL

Posted in Design Categories, Military T-shirts, Political T-shirts, Quirky T-shirts, *UNRATED* T-shirts

Ghost Face Mario

Posted by Gregg on February 16, 2011

There was something about Mario that always sat a little strange with me. I mean don’t get me wrong, when you look at the story, he’s got a real epic hero vibe about him. But there’s always been a disconnect between the Mario on screen and the Mario that lives in my head, who is usually doing things like walking barefoot over broken glass and telling Koopa Yippie-Ki-Yay. I think it’s the outfits.

I mean, you’ve got Mario who is storming through Koopa’s place just destroying everything he can – stealing gold coins, stomping henchmen left and right, and basically just shredding through Koopa’s nepotistic regime, and what’s the best he can do? Raccoon suits? Different colored overalls? Cute little sock-boot thing? Let’s be clear, the three embodying powers there are flight, hurling fire from his bare hands, and jumping crazy high. That’s the best they can do? He looks like a child that rummaged through a costume closet.

Not any more. Koopa probably peed himself laughing when Mario showed up in that cap with wings. He’ll pee himself in fear when Mario shows up in Berserker mode. After years of (let’s be real) ridiculous outfits, Mario is stepping up his game.

When skull Mario rams his size-7 workboots down Koopa’s noisemaker, you better believe his princess won’t be in another castle.

$30 | URL | Paypal Credit | M: XL

Posted in Design Categories, Mens T-shirts, Pop Culture T-shirts, Superhero T-shirts, vintage / Retro T-shirts

Sometimes They Come Back - Threadless Thursdays

Posted by Gregg on February 10, 2011

It's Threadless Thursday! On Thursdays when I remember, I highlight a design in voting that could use some love.

First, imagine how much AWESOMER this scene would have turned out if only Skeletor-Rex had an AR-15 to defend himself with?

I don't want to get into a lot of alternate history B.S. but I could also imagine a lot of undead armies being far more successful if they could just pick up any kind of weapon to defend themselves with. How can we feel any fear when practically everything we own would be effective enough to beat back a lurch of zombies?

Go check out this design and tell the designer what you think! :)

Posted in Design Categories, Threadless Thursday, Military T-shirts, Animal T-shirts

Rats

Posted by Gregg on February 9, 2011

I remember fondly my days in choreographed street gangs. Coincidentally, strapping on Capezios and breaking out the pitch pipes right before a nasty rumble also struck a chord (do you see what I did there?) with Hollywood. but other than that, I’ve always found musicals to be a bit inaccessible. But then the people at Young Lovers found a way to reawaken my inner songbird. They made a joke out of cats.

Generally speaking, I don’t dislike Cats: The Musical. It’s written by T.S. Eliot, and has creepy cat-people prowling around (which is grade-A nightmare fodder). I kind of feel like going to Cats would be like watching a musical about a Furry convention. In other words, hilarious and kind of awkward.

The Rats tee brings the joy of song to the young people, and even puts a smile on this OG’s face. And they say musical theatre is inaccessible to the masses. Cynics.

See you guys later. I'm going to find Stephen Sondheim and get him onboard Furry: The Musical.

$48 | Mens Womens | Paypal, Credit | M: S - XL, F: S - XL

Posted in Design Categories, Mens T-shirts, Womens T-shirts, Funny T-shirts, Music T-shirts, Pop Culture T-shirts, Animal T-shirts

Yearly Archives: 2011

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